Story 5: The Alphabet Soup

She called him at three-fifteen in the morning. He did not know what the time was. Her voice had a sense of undying urgency to it. His was just sleepy, but he did recognize her. The woman who had moaned in the closet, the woman who had almost borne the fruit of his seed, the woman who was falling for Ajay but never will - The woman who Ajay had sworn off along with all the other things he had sworn off lately. But as soon as he heard her voice, he craved for more of the same things he had vowed to never touch again.

A man's best friends are his vices, till he chooses to abandon them. They return as twins in the circus of the twenty-four hour periods called days. They return as uneasy sweats and tremors, as angst and fury, as grinding teeth and the plucking of every hair on the head and everywhere else - they return as painful reminders of the pain that they drowned. All Ajay wanted was a sip of Vodka to warm his chest, a puff of nicotine to ease is head and a taste of Purple Haze to forget where he was. The phone rang some more and he realized that hanging up never stopped a person from calling back. He picked up this time.

Hello he whispered.

Hi she said.

How are you ?

I am good. You ?

I am good as well.

I'm sorry for calling you at this hour.

I don't know what the time is.

Even better.

What did you want ?

I have a confession to make -

Go ahead..

Can we meet over coffee tomorrow ?

Can't we just do this on the phone ?

I have to see you..over coffee. Its important.

I don't even know your name..

I know yours, Ajay. Tomorrow, I'll wait at 5:30 at The Sundae Place..

I may not show..

I'll wait.

Okay..

Bye, Ajay.

She did not wait for him to say bye. Ajay's mind raced all night. Nobody had ever even offered to wait for him. The woman he waited for - Meena - was gone. The only woman he ever wanted was gone. He wanted to make it to the coffee shop to tell her off - this unnamed woman. But he did want to see her. Seeing her could lead to the very vagaries that he wished to leave behind - the vagaries of one night stands, the icy nature of another casual relationship, the cold stare of a non-lover after having sex with her. Ajay had left that behind him as soon as his eyes met Meena's on a gloomy Wednesday.

Meena had brought sunshine to Ajay's loneliness. She had brought him hope. The spark he had carried in his heart for so long had come to flame only to be doused by cold and cruel waters of the abyss of time. Ajay did not want to go to The Sundae Place, he wanted Meena, not the Unnamed Woman.

At three-twenty two, Ajay lay awake in his bed. Thinking of his childhood with Meena, his rezendevous with women he could hardly remember names of, The Sundae Place. It then dawned to Ajay that he had never been in a relationship. He had never told a woman that he loved her. He had never fallen into the trappings of a lifestyle dictated by the co-dominant nature of personalities. He had never woken up next to a woman he wished to hold close to him all his life. In fact, all he ever wanted to do after having sex with a woman was to pack up and leave, only to call her again if he ever wanted some much needed intimacy. Such was his life.

Ajay had been careful to never become an Ex or a Why in the alphabet soup of relationships. Yet
he was in one at Three Twenty Five in the morning. Between The Sundae Place, pursuing Meena and letting it all go to start afresh, Ajay liked the third one the best. He wanted to start afresh - fresh like the twinkle in a lover's eyes right before kissing her, fresh like her warm breath on his neck, fresh like playing with her hair on a starry night - all the tales of romance that filled up pages in classical writings, in movies around the world and in glorified history, Ajay wanted to feel them all. He would dream about them and smile. He would see Meena's face and smile. He would see the stars and smile.

At Three-Thirty One Ajay lets out a slight snore that disappears in the drone of all the sounds an old house makes right before dawn.